Help
Sign In
QaR
February 2009 
What Little Things Make You Happy?
Posted on Jan 20th, 2008
by 
Karen
Karen
What is the nature of happiness? Do "happy" thoughts create happiness, or does the activity of being happy engender happy thoughts? Is it a state of being, a state of mind, an experience or a circumstance?
In the New Thought world thought creates emotion, which leads to experience. Change your thinking, change your life, which changes your thinking, which further changes your life, etcetera. Can anything truly "make" us happy? Or, do we simply choose to be happy? Is it even as simple as choice? Is being happy mere happenstance, or is it the result of a personal quest? Since it's transient, is it even a worthwhile quest?
I don't believe any thing or experience can truly make us happy. Yet, the things we think will make us happy wield an inordinate amount of power in our lives. Conversely, the idea of being unhappy or even the potential for unhappiness can bring us to our knees. Sometimes that's a good stance to take, especially when we recognize that the Presence is the source and substance of all that is and is not. However, when we're on our knees because we're groveling, we're in a very unempowered and undignified position.
We spend a lot of time pursuing happiness, so it follows that it's a desireable state. It is a place in which we tend to be more expansive, expressive and creative. Although unhappiness also is a deep well for creativity. There are astonishing gifts in the darkness and some of the most beautiful art, poetry and music have come from it, as well as profound growth and evolution. So why not pursue unhappiness with the same vigor with which we chase happiness?
Still, how many times do we "put on a happy face" for the benefit of others, or simply to prevent others from perceiving our inner turmoil? Therefore, the simple appearance of happiness can be deceptive. "How are you?" is often met with, "I'm fine, thanks" even when we're not. We're afraid to tell the world we're not happy. Is it unacceptable to be unhappy?
A couple of my more recent postings were written during a funk and were lovingly responded to by well-intentioned folks who provided a prescription for my return to happiness. This is not to minimize those very wonderful responses -- they did remind me that I have the power to shift my experience and I am grateful for the reminder (I experience chronic clinical depression and despite medication can sometimes fall into a pit). Still, it caused me to think about the need for people to rescue people who are seemingly unhappy. We can't stand to observe another's discomfort. Especially people who have a spiritual orientation. Why is that? Is happiness somehow a badge of spiritual achievement?
I noticed that the Zaadz webmasters tagged this question with "happiness, simplicity, appreciation, gratitude." Interesting collection of words. Is the assumption that simplicity is a necessary component of happiness, for which we automatically feel appreciation and gratitude? Or can we find happiness in something complex and challenging?
What, specifically, is happiness? Is it an action, emotion, expression, or something else? I read some place that happiness is an emotion -- a response to a stimulus. Whereas joy, according to the writer (sorry, don't remember who), is a quality that comes from a soul level. Does that make happiness less valuable than joy, or somehow less desireable or dignified? Is that even an accurate characterization of either word, or is it arrogance to differentiate between levels of happiness, adjudging one person's happiness to be more acceptable than someone else's?
I looked up the word, "happy." Here's what I found: It's an adjective, which in the world of words is a word that modifies a noun (person, place or thing). Interestingly, my dictionary says that an adjective accomplishes this modification by limiting, qualifying, or specifying. So -- does that mean "happiness" has its limits and specifications? The same dictionary defines happy as, "Characterized by luck or good fortune; prosperous. Having or demonstrating pleasure or satisfaction; gratified." There's also trigger-happy, but that's another discussion for another day.
Words associated with "happy" include: elated, ecstatic, joyful, thrilled, pleased, jubilant, glad, content, cheerful, in high spirits, blissful, exultant, delighted, cheery, jovial, on cloud nine, fortunate, favorable, lucky -- to list just a few. It appears, then, that there are many opportunities in life to experience happiness in varying degrees and manifestations.
"Unhappy" also is an adjective. It's defined as, "Not happy or joyful; sad. Not bringing good fortune; unlucky. Not suitable; inappropriate." Words associated with "unhappy" include: sad, miserable, discontented, despondent, dejected, gloomy, forlorn, sorrowful, melancholic, depressed, and down.
I guess, based on the dictionary definition, unhappiness is indeed an inappropriate or undesireable state. I wonder why that is? It's just as natural as happiness is. Unhappiness can be a great motivator. If the stone in our shoe didn't hurt, we'd leave it there and possibly cause ourselves injury. And it's often said that we wouldn't know we were happy unless we had the opposite experience. Which then spurs us back toward happiness. What a happy partnership!
Joy is a noun. It's not a person, so that leaves place and thing as characteristics. That supports the notion that it's an inherent quality on some level. Still, it's defined as, "A condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight; happiness; gladness. The expression or manifestation of such feeling. A source or object of pleasure or satisfaction." So -- would joy also be connected with outside circumstance or thought? Is there truly any difference between happiness and joy, or is it simply a matter of degree?
So, happiness and joy seem to be characterized by a response to an outside circumstance. But, the baseline for happiness isn't universal. It's based on one's ideals and values, and on what one has or doesn't have or what a person wants or doesn't want. Unlimited text messaging would create happiness for some folks, while the ability to read and write would delight others. $500 designer sunglasses would bring gratification to some, while any kind of eyesight would be good fortune to others. A burning cross would be the source of jubilation for one group, while it's a source of anger for another.
Since the source happiness differs from person to person, there appears to be no right or wrong way to be happy (I know, I know. I can read you now. Anything that causes harm, damage, destruction, disrespect, etc. is not exactly a higher form of happiness. Unless you're a gang banger, pornographer, Hell's Angel or Dick Cheney).
There are stories of mystics and heroes who were ecstatic even in the worst of conditions. It looks like happiness is a universal experience, regardless of what brings it on. And -- how is it that in the best of circumstances, there are those who can't find or experience happiness?
Since it happens so readily and easily and there are so many facets to it, why does it seem to be elusive? Or is that elusiveness just a myth? Are we naturally happy as a species, only to be interrupted by moments (or longer) of unhappiness?
When you look at it, you see that happiness really is abundant and we are naturally wired for it. The brain and body make happiness hormones. Humans use Zoloft and chocolate to boost seratonin levels when natural brain juices dip. Happiness is big business. A lot of things out there promise to make us happy or at least elicit that happy feelin'.
Despite its abundance and our easy access to it, it is very fragile. The feelings of well-being and satisfaction that accompany happiness can be shattered easily. When the object of our happy reverie is removed from us, we become despondent and vexed as if happiness will never again be within our emotional grasp. The prospect of unhappiness can create fear and anxiety, among other things.
So, perhaps the pursuit of happiness is actually the cause of unhappiness? Maybe we just need something to pursue. Otherwise, we'd be unhappy.
In the New Thought world thought creates emotion, which leads to experience. Change your thinking, change your life, which changes your thinking, which further changes your life, etcetera. Can anything truly "make" us happy? Or, do we simply choose to be happy? Is it even as simple as choice? Is being happy mere happenstance, or is it the result of a personal quest? Since it's transient, is it even a worthwhile quest?
I don't believe any thing or experience can truly make us happy. Yet, the things we think will make us happy wield an inordinate amount of power in our lives. Conversely, the idea of being unhappy or even the potential for unhappiness can bring us to our knees. Sometimes that's a good stance to take, especially when we recognize that the Presence is the source and substance of all that is and is not. However, when we're on our knees because we're groveling, we're in a very unempowered and undignified position.
We spend a lot of time pursuing happiness, so it follows that it's a desireable state. It is a place in which we tend to be more expansive, expressive and creative. Although unhappiness also is a deep well for creativity. There are astonishing gifts in the darkness and some of the most beautiful art, poetry and music have come from it, as well as profound growth and evolution. So why not pursue unhappiness with the same vigor with which we chase happiness?
Still, how many times do we "put on a happy face" for the benefit of others, or simply to prevent others from perceiving our inner turmoil? Therefore, the simple appearance of happiness can be deceptive. "How are you?" is often met with, "I'm fine, thanks" even when we're not. We're afraid to tell the world we're not happy. Is it unacceptable to be unhappy?
A couple of my more recent postings were written during a funk and were lovingly responded to by well-intentioned folks who provided a prescription for my return to happiness. This is not to minimize those very wonderful responses -- they did remind me that I have the power to shift my experience and I am grateful for the reminder (I experience chronic clinical depression and despite medication can sometimes fall into a pit). Still, it caused me to think about the need for people to rescue people who are seemingly unhappy. We can't stand to observe another's discomfort. Especially people who have a spiritual orientation. Why is that? Is happiness somehow a badge of spiritual achievement?
I noticed that the Zaadz webmasters tagged this question with "happiness, simplicity, appreciation, gratitude." Interesting collection of words. Is the assumption that simplicity is a necessary component of happiness, for which we automatically feel appreciation and gratitude? Or can we find happiness in something complex and challenging?
What, specifically, is happiness? Is it an action, emotion, expression, or something else? I read some place that happiness is an emotion -- a response to a stimulus. Whereas joy, according to the writer (sorry, don't remember who), is a quality that comes from a soul level. Does that make happiness less valuable than joy, or somehow less desireable or dignified? Is that even an accurate characterization of either word, or is it arrogance to differentiate between levels of happiness, adjudging one person's happiness to be more acceptable than someone else's?
I looked up the word, "happy." Here's what I found: It's an adjective, which in the world of words is a word that modifies a noun (person, place or thing). Interestingly, my dictionary says that an adjective accomplishes this modification by limiting, qualifying, or specifying. So -- does that mean "happiness" has its limits and specifications? The same dictionary defines happy as, "Characterized by luck or good fortune; prosperous. Having or demonstrating pleasure or satisfaction; gratified." There's also trigger-happy, but that's another discussion for another day.
Words associated with "happy" include: elated, ecstatic, joyful, thrilled, pleased, jubilant, glad, content, cheerful, in high spirits, blissful, exultant, delighted, cheery, jovial, on cloud nine, fortunate, favorable, lucky -- to list just a few. It appears, then, that there are many opportunities in life to experience happiness in varying degrees and manifestations.
"Unhappy" also is an adjective. It's defined as, "Not happy or joyful; sad. Not bringing good fortune; unlucky. Not suitable; inappropriate." Words associated with "unhappy" include: sad, miserable, discontented, despondent, dejected, gloomy, forlorn, sorrowful, melancholic, depressed, and down.
I guess, based on the dictionary definition, unhappiness is indeed an inappropriate or undesireable state. I wonder why that is? It's just as natural as happiness is. Unhappiness can be a great motivator. If the stone in our shoe didn't hurt, we'd leave it there and possibly cause ourselves injury. And it's often said that we wouldn't know we were happy unless we had the opposite experience. Which then spurs us back toward happiness. What a happy partnership!
Joy is a noun. It's not a person, so that leaves place and thing as characteristics. That supports the notion that it's an inherent quality on some level. Still, it's defined as, "A condition or feeling of high pleasure or delight; happiness; gladness. The expression or manifestation of such feeling. A source or object of pleasure or satisfaction." So -- would joy also be connected with outside circumstance or thought? Is there truly any difference between happiness and joy, or is it simply a matter of degree?
So, happiness and joy seem to be characterized by a response to an outside circumstance. But, the baseline for happiness isn't universal. It's based on one's ideals and values, and on what one has or doesn't have or what a person wants or doesn't want. Unlimited text messaging would create happiness for some folks, while the ability to read and write would delight others. $500 designer sunglasses would bring gratification to some, while any kind of eyesight would be good fortune to others. A burning cross would be the source of jubilation for one group, while it's a source of anger for another.
Since the source happiness differs from person to person, there appears to be no right or wrong way to be happy (I know, I know. I can read you now. Anything that causes harm, damage, destruction, disrespect, etc. is not exactly a higher form of happiness. Unless you're a gang banger, pornographer, Hell's Angel or Dick Cheney).
There are stories of mystics and heroes who were ecstatic even in the worst of conditions. It looks like happiness is a universal experience, regardless of what brings it on. And -- how is it that in the best of circumstances, there are those who can't find or experience happiness?
Since it happens so readily and easily and there are so many facets to it, why does it seem to be elusive? Or is that elusiveness just a myth? Are we naturally happy as a species, only to be interrupted by moments (or longer) of unhappiness?
When you look at it, you see that happiness really is abundant and we are naturally wired for it. The brain and body make happiness hormones. Humans use Zoloft and chocolate to boost seratonin levels when natural brain juices dip. Happiness is big business. A lot of things out there promise to make us happy or at least elicit that happy feelin'.
Despite its abundance and our easy access to it, it is very fragile. The feelings of well-being and satisfaction that accompany happiness can be shattered easily. When the object of our happy reverie is removed from us, we become despondent and vexed as if happiness will never again be within our emotional grasp. The prospect of unhappiness can create fear and anxiety, among other things.
So, perhaps the pursuit of happiness is actually the cause of unhappiness? Maybe we just need something to pursue. Otherwise, we'd be unhappy.
Karen E. Kelsay © 2008 All rights reserved.
Access: PublicTagged with: questions and reflections, happiness
When I think of my own pursuit of happiness, I sort of realize I'm not really seeking happiness but rather trying to escape from being unhappy or discontented. So the experience is less about getting to something than away from something. And once I get out of that unhappy feeling, I feel happy, no matter where I land, simply because I've moved out of an emotional space. Now, that doesn't mean I stay that way because eventually whereever I am tends to get stale and here I go again seeking something else than what I have, believing that's what's going to make me happy. Maybe by just staying in the experience of begin unhappy and working through it and finding the joy that is also is that experience, we can transform the moment and once we do that we find we don't have to be happy. We just need to be.
Hi, Glynnda! Great point. Most of us don't seek happiness. We seek to be anything other than unhappy. When we really can't escape any experience. Gotta be where we are. It's all part of life.